


All Gansey's Fault

by sonofahutmaker



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: M/M, Post-The Raven King, Ronan blushes several times, Swearing, leaving for college anxiety, way more angst than I was intending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-08-08 15:59:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7764079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonofahutmaker/pseuds/sonofahutmaker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>None of it was Gansey's fault. </p><p>(aka the one where Gansey still has Monmouth) Adam is staying with Ronan for the summer at the Barns before college.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All Gansey's Fault

**Author's Note:**

> Am I projecting my fears about college? Maybe. Ignore that and focus on a flustered Gansey

Ronan and Adam may or may not have been on Gansey’s bed. Really though, it was all Gansey’s fault, when you thought about it. It was Gansey’s fault for not having a couch like a normal person; how someone as rich as Gansey lacked for basic furnishings like a couch was frankly beyond Adam. It was Gansey’s fault for inviting everyone over and then not even being at Monmouth himself. It might not have been Gansey’s fault that with Adam getting ready to go to college and Ronan constantly wrapped up in a project at the Barns and with Opal, they felt like they hardly ever saw each other, but really the fact that Ronan and Adam were currently making out on Gansey’s bed was at least 60% the fault of Gansey himself. Adam stopped rationalizing long enough to realize that Ronan had pinned his wrists above his head with one hand, that Ronan was biting his earlobe, that Ronan’s other hand was-

“Fucking gross!” Ah. The gang had arrived.

Ronan rolled off Adam. “Tell it to one of your boyfriends, Maggot.” But his face was red. Adam’s wasn’t. Ronan might have been the one comfortable enough to go shirtless (and, frequently, pant-less too) around the house, his or Monmouth or wherever really, but Adam had always been more comfortable with PDA. And he was frankly too happy to care at the moment.

“We got bored waiting for you three,” he said easily, grabbing a slice of the pizza that had been the cause of Blue, Gansey, and Henry’s tardiness, and sitting on the floor.

“But did you have to be on my bed?” Gansey asked tragically as he too sat on the floor. Ronan, who had recovered somewhat from his momentary embarrassment, winked obscenely from his position at Adam’s side.

Henry was spinning in Gansey’s desk chair and said thoughtfully “I think it’s kinda hot.”

Ronan cackled, Gansey looked flustered, Blue said simply, “Y’all are idiots”. Adam was suddenly filled with a rush of affection for these people who had so casually become his family.

…

Really, if you thought about it, this whole thing had been all Gansey’s fault too. It was true that it wasn’t Gansey’s fault that Adam was leaving for college, and it wasn’t Gansey’s fault that Ronan felt tied to the Barns, but it was Gansey’s words that were echoing in Adam’s head when he had said “We need to talk about this” to Ronan.

Gansey had told Adam not to break Ronan. And Adam had promised not to mess with his head. And he hadn’t, not intentionally. The entire time Ronan and Adam had been dating Adam had tried his hardest to be completely honest. He knew he could expect the same from Ronan, and frankly Adam was ready for a little simplicity. But he still couldn’t bring himself to talk about what his leaving for college meant. It wasn’t forever, but it was the majority of 4 years. And Adam knew he would never be able to live in Henrietta forever afterwards.

An assortment of snacks were spread before them on a blanket, the sun was sinking, the grass was long. If peace had a melody it was the hum of the cicadas and Opal’s laughter as she held court in front of the cheese and crackers. Ronan wasn’t smiling, but his eyes had softened. He was wearing Adam’s Harvard sweatshirt. It was the sweatshirt that did it.

“Ronan, we need to talk about this.”

“C’mon Parrish, we agreed we’d let Opal eat the grass if she wants to, she’s fucking part goat.”

Adam scowled, “Not that, but we also definitely did not agree on that;” Opal gave him a resentful look but didn’t pause stuffing leaves into her cheeks, “I’m talking about the fact that I’m going to college in two weeks.”

Ronan became very interested in tearing up a piece of bread. “You’re right, we really shouldn’t let Opal eat that shit.”

Adam sighed, “Ronan.”

Ronan got to his feet and kicked at nothing in particular; the sun had disappeared behind the orchard that was part of the Barns’ property, unnatural fruits strangely highlighted in silhouette. “You know, you’re not Gansey,” he said contemplatively, “You can’t just use that fucking voice and expect me to do whatever you want.” Ronan had found a target and kicked hard at a mango.

Adam stayed seated, but his fists were clenched. He forcibly released them and grabbed a bowl of purple grapes, although Ronan knew for a fact he only liked the green kind. He maintained the calmness necessary to speak with a fairly level tone, “Ronan, slow down-”

“See, like that kind of shit? That’s fucking degrading man, stop trying to make me more convenient for you.” Ronan’s gaze fell on Opal, no longer eating grass but trying to pull the grapes from Adam’s apparently vice-like grip with a look of anxiety on her face. “Go inside, Opal.”

She gave a mournful “Kerah” that sounded remarkably like Chainsaw.

Ronan said, with some disgust, “No arguing Opal, there’s enough of that fucking going around.” There was a turbulent silence as both Adam and Ronan watched her run back to the main house.

Adam broke it as soon as the door snapped closed behind her, “I’m not the one being controlling. I was trying to bring up that, like it or not, I can’t be pinned down here forever.”

“Oh so now you’re _pinned down here_. Nice, real fucking nice man, at least you’re not still in that shitbox apartment, I’m so fucking sorry I asked you to stay with me for the summer in my childhood home. My goddamn bad.” Ronan had apparently run out of things to kick and looked angrier for it. He always looked angriest when being being brutally honest accidentally edged into vulnerability.

Despite his best efforts Adam had gotten angry too. He dropped the grapes and stood up. “You really don’t get it do you? Ronan, it’s like I’m living in your _head_. How am I ever supposed to be my own person here?”

“Then stop tiptoeing around it and leave like you’re so desperate to! When will you ever stop _wanting_ , Adam?”

Adam didn’t know when he would stop wanting. It felt like he had been hungry his whole life, and just when he thought he finally had enough it was snatched away from him. He felt like he was going to throw up all over their pathetic picnic. How had they not known that they couldn’t survive on this? Ronan was still wearing his stupid sweatshirt.

“Ronan, God, I don’t know. Can’t you just listen to me? I’m trying to tell you that I’m leaving but I’m not leaving you.” Adam fell back onto the blanket. The sun had almost completely disappeared.

Ronan sat down too, somehow making it a violent act. “Yeah,” he said flatly, “I get it. I better go make sure Opal hasn’t eaten the wallpaper.”

Adam reached for Ronan’s arm. “Look…” He trailed off as Ronan stood at his touch and pulled off his sweatshirt violently.

Ronan bared his teeth in a facsimile of a smile at the lettering on the jacket. “I guess you probably caught the irony before me, huh?” He balled up the garment and threw it in Adam’s general direction. Ronan turned and began to stomp off towards the house.

…

Adam didn’t realize how angry he was until Ronan had disappeared inside the main house. He stood up and kicked the bowl of purple grapes, then swore because kicking glass bowls hurt. Adam didn’t know where he went wrong, he had been trying to avoid a scenario like this when he brought up his college plans. Sometimes, he thought viciously, Ronan was still the exact same infuriating person he had always been. Now he was standing in a field in the dark, cursing at produce, and apparently out of a place to stay tonight. Adam certianly wasn’t going back to sleep in Ronan’s twin bed. Adam silently cursed Gansey and his bullshit theories of open communication and got in his car to go to Monmouth.

The first thing out of Adam’s mouth when Gansey opened the door was “This is all your fault.”

The first thing out of Gansey’s mouth was a surprised “Adam,” and then “are you alright?”

Adam didn’t get much sleep that night, but what minimal sleep he did happened in Ronan’s old bedroom, wrapped up in a duvet that still smelled like him.

…

Gansey was sitting cross-legged in the center of cardboard Henrietta when Adam walked out of Ronan’s room the next morning, miniature buildings spiraling away from him as he sipped from a steaming mug. Adam plopped down on the outskirts of the tiny town. He picked at a hangnail on his thumb. “I know it wasn’t your fault.”

Gansey simply replied, “I know.”

And so Adam told Gansey about two boys with high tempers, one hot and one cold, much of which he knew already but listened to anyways, and the argument they had the night before. Sometime last night Adam had lost the will to clip his accent, he didn’t know if he would ever gain it back.

“I just don’t know what to do, Gansey,” Adam finished, “I care about him so much, ya know?”

“Yeah, well, I’m familiar with that situation,” Gansey blew out a long stream of air, “the things I did trying to help Ronan to have them backfire… well, he’s not the easiest person with whom to cohabitate a place, to say the least. Which you seem to have figured out.”

Adam remembered something. “You know last night he told me I wasn’t you; told me ‘You know, you’re not Gansey,’ when I tried to get him to be reasonable.”

Gansey grimaced and got up, “Yeah, that’s a classic mistake. Want any coffee?” He walked into the kitchen/bathroom/laundry room and called, “It’s fair trade if that matters to you.” It didn’t matter to Adam, not concretely like the fact that he was leaving for Massachusetts in less than two weeks, not like the tank top he had borrowed from one of Ronan’s drawers this morning. And definitely not concretely like the fact that Adam needed caffeine in him, now, regardless of the methods used to procure it. Gansey walked back into the room with two mugs in hand to the sight of Adam sprawled across his bed.

Adam’s voice was muffled against the pillows as he said, unnecessarily, “Fuck, Gansey, I really fucked up.”

“And you’re on my bed again,” came Gansey’s wry reply.

Adam turned around and sat up to accept his coffee. “Believe me, I wish I was making out with Ronan right now, no offense,” he paused to take a sip of his guilt-free caffeine, “Gansey, I told him I felt pinned down. That’s not how you’re supposed to talk about a relationship you want to keep!”

Gansey sat on the floor again and fiddled with a broken cardboard roof. “Adam, you both said things you didn’t mean. If Ronan ended his relationship with every person he’s ever said something unpleasant to, he’d live in complete isolation.”

Adam snorted and said, “Well, that’s true.” He got up off the bed, padding over to the kitchen/bathroom/laundry room and asked if he could borrow Gansey’s toothpaste. “I gotta head to work,” he said minutes later as he walked towards the door, still in Ronan’s top. “Thanks for the toothpaste. And everything, you know, else.”

Gansey answered, “Take care of yourself, man.” Adam shut the door behind him. After Adam left, Gansey contemplated how his friends, who were such idiots, had become people he wouldn’t trade for the world.

…

Adam didn’t want to go back to Barns. Work hadn’t helped him calm down, he had simmered the entire day in the garage, and by the end of his shift he had lost most of his remorse and come up with anger. He glanced in the rear-view mirror of his shitty car, a dirt speckled version of himself glared back. He looked feral, the black tank top he had borrowed from Ronan that morning wasn’t helping. _Fucking Ronan_ , he thought, _he knew I couldn’t stay in his denial-driven dream land forever_. It was an unfair thought, but it felt good to think for a second. Ronan was right, Adam did want for more. He leaned into the whine of his car and headed for Monmouth.

Adam noticed immediately the state of the cars parked around Monmouth. There was only one, and it wasn’t the bright orange of the Pig, it was the dusky gray of Ronan’s BMW. Adam reluctantly pulled the key out of the ignition. He sat in his car until without the air-conditioning the heat of the day became oppressive and cloying. Monmouth was imposing and dark in the evening; it looked like the deserted factory it was. He let himself in with the spare key Gansey had given him. There was none of the dread he used to feel going back to the trailer park, his and Ronan’s relationship held too much love to ever feel like that, but it was still hard to climb the stairs leading to the upper level. Adam paused once he entered the room. Ronan was sitting on Gansey’s bed. He had been fiddling idly with an orb that was seemingly filled with smoke, most likely a dreamt object, but looked up at the sound of the door. Ronan’s eyebrows drew together and he inhaled deeply through his nose but he said only, “Is that my shirt?”

Abrubtly Adam wasn’t mad anymore, he was exhasuted. “I don’t think we’re supposed to be on Gansey’s bed anymore.” But he unglued himself from the doorpost and joined Ronan there; they were both silent for a long moment, the two feet of space between them seemed to stretch wider in Adam’s mind. He bit the bullet, “Ronan, you have to know that I need to leave and it’s not because-”

Ronan didn’t let him finish, he tipped forward and kissed Adam for the briefest of moments, then leaned back, blushing. He looked down at the orb still in his hands. “Adam. I get it. Me and Opal are the greatest shit since sliced bread or whatever but you’re going to Harvard. And we’ll be alright. And honestly after too much peace and quiet you drive everyone batshit crazy anyway.” He looked up at Adam and offered a weak smile.

Adam wasn’t asking permission when he said levelly “Are you sure?,” he just need to hear that Ronan was really going to be okay. That their relationship was going to be okay. However Ronan just set aside the orb he was holding and kissed Adam again, slow and sweet and sure. Ronan had never been good at the verbal parts of conversations. Adam leaned back just slightly to rest his forehead against Ronan’s and whispered, “You know I could never feel pinned down to you right? You’re the best part of this shit town.”

Ronan whispered back, “God, Adam, you know college has breaks like four times a year, there’s no need to be so dramatic.”

Adam pulled back further so he could properly hit Ronan on the arm. He asked “What made you and your sphere of darkness come here to have an adult conversation anyway?”

Ronan looked slightly and surprisingly sheepish. “Gansey, actually. He basically threatened to beat me up if I didn’t come talk to you.” Somehow Adam doubted that fear had motivated Ronan to Monmouth considering Gansey’s martial arts ability, but he was glad nonetheless.

Adam smirked and consciously let his accent color his words as he said “Well then, the way I see it, that’s practically giving us permission.”

Ronan’s face lit with a smirk to rival the one Adam was sporting. “Oh yeah, well the way I see it, it’s about time you returned that shirt to me.”

“You know,” Adam answered slowly, wickedly, “I think we might both be right.” He pulled off the tank. Ronan swept the dark orb off the bed carelessly and gently pushed Adam back onto the duvet. Gansey was not going to be happy when he returned to Monmouth. But really, when you thought about it, it was all his own fault.

…

“FOR THE LOVE OF GOD RONAN, YOU STILL HAVE A ROOM HERE- GO THERE!”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are super appreciated, thanks for reading(:


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